Hello fellow employees,
HR has asked us to inform everyone that there will be some changes to your benefits packages.
It seems quite unfair to the Management Team that our new zombie co-workers do not take any vacation or sick time. Granted, we are not required by law to give PTO to the undead, and they have not asked for any. Or if they have, no one has been unable to understand them or has lived long enough to pass along the request. But this is beside the point. The import thing is that all of our employees should be treated equally in a way that benefits the corporation.
So the MT has decided to eliminate all PTO time for employees effective immediately. Anyone maimed or mutilated in an attack is free to take up to one hour unpaid to see the company nurse.
Naturally this rule does not apply to the MT. Thank you in advance for your compliance.
Stay productive and safe.