Hello fellow employees,
We are happy to report that the zombie / human integration continues to advance smoothly. There are certainly no problems or obstacles that we will admit to officially.
The Management Team would like to extend a special thanks to middle management for their tireless support and self sacrifice during this transition. The MT greatly appreciates your dedication as long as you don't ask for a raise.
Of course we thank all of our employees for their help. Even though you are insignificant cogs within our vast corporate machine, it would be impolite not to thank you as well.
The MT is confident that until order and sanity is restored to the White House and this country as a whole, we will carry on with the values that made this company one of the largest and greatest in the world. So take heart that whether you are a living person or one of the living dead, we will continue to exploit and oppress all of you equally.
Stay productive and safe.