Hello fellow employees,
Our first week of the zombie apocalypse has been a wonderful success. Except, of course, for those brutally killed or eaten alive.
Overall productivity is down less than 10%, but overhead is down over 50%. This is consistent with our initial analysis. We are predicting a very prosperous fiscal year. I know that all of you share in our excitement in this wonderful news, even though you won't be receiving a share of the profits.
Now HR has received several requests for a list of those eaten or turned into zombies. We want to remind all employees of our layoff policies, we do not distribute lists of names under any circumstances. This now includes zombies and victims. Any attempts in circulating your own lists will be subject to disciplinary measures. Think of it as a game of hide and seek, only it's forever.
Stay productive and safe.